The Diary of Rick Murray: Revenge is a Killer
by RickMurray
Summary: Holly J is having a hard time, until she finds a journal that may as well change her life.   Before Savvy J
1. Chapter 1: She's everything I ask for

The Diary of Rick Murray.

((Authors note, This is the person behind Rick Murray's tumblr blog.))

Holly J had just woken up from her afternoon nap. She took one at 3pm daily; it was a way to keep her "Head Bitch In Charge" mojo flowing through her. Getting up off of her bed while swing her feet off the edge and standing up, she reached for her new touch screen phone. She was so proud of it because she bought it with the money she earned from working at the Steak House. Her parents sold their house and lost her college fund. She wasn't even aware of how that was possible but it made her so mad that her eyes matched her hair when she found out, both burning a fiery red color. "Pack your stuff sweetheart." She said under her breath mocking her mother. This was one of the worse possible things that could have happened to her, now all she had to do was lose Declan and Fiona and her life would be over as she knew it. She was always on top. She was the head cheerleader and the cutest boy in school was her boyfriend. He had looks and money meaning she wouldn't have to take care of him. He was different than the other boys she had met. Blue had tried to change her and Toby had her head all confused, but with Declan she felt like she belonged. It was like everything fell into place, or so she thought.

Clicking through her phone she checked her missed texts: zero, missed calls: zero, facerange: zero notifications. What was this? She always had someone on begging her to grant their wish. People lined up to even see her, this was crazy. She slid her phone in to the pocket of her daisy duke shorts, her outfit of choice when she needed time to think. She bit her lip and slid her feet into her converse.

"Holly J, you've got to do something about this lack of people needing you." Holly J thought to herself as she grabbed her keys and headed out of her door. Walking along the sidewalk, towards the ravine something caught her eye. It was a journal of some sort. Holly J bent over and picked it up.

It was in a bush so she dusted it off and read the cover, "Property of Rick Murray." "Rick Murray?" She thought, "This is so weird." She tucked it under her arm and changed directions, she needed to read this in the comfort of her secret hiding place.


	2. Chapter 2: Still waiting

Chapter 2: Still waiting

Holly J made it to the park in a matter of minutes, walking at a slightly faster pace than she would have normally, because she was so tempted to just stop and read the journal right where she was. Holly J reading and it wasn't homework? What would people think of that? She should be off terrorizing little kids or something. As she walked across the park she looked around her before making her way into a hole in the fence squeezing through her shirt ripping a bit from her just rushing through. Once she was through the fence she made her way to a tree with dead branches fallen over it, moving them aside she crawled into the "cabin" space. This was where she would always go if she wanted to be alone from the time she could remember. Propping her arm against the back of the tree she fished out the journal. She took a deep breath, this was it. She was finally about to learn, about the boy who brought so much pain to Degrassi. She never met him personally, she was never friends with him but everyone knew about him. He brought a gun to school and put his girlfriend in a coma for crying out loud. Flipping open to the first entry she began to read the nice hand writing displayed across the page.

It read:

Dear journal, (Oh god she thought to herself. She couldn't believe she was going to read this)

This is probably one of the dumbest things I have ever had to do.(Kind of like me reading this? She laughed at herself) I hate going to therapy, it's so pointless. I DO NOT have anger problems. It's not my fault my dad is never home and my mom is too protective. Whose idea was it to bring me to this horrible place anyways? Not my idea of a good time. Like this is my fault or something. All this sounds like is a cheesy little kid writing this. Wait- (She took a deep breath. She was getting WAY too into this journal)

Well I guess I should tell you what just happened, keep you informed even though you're not a real person and you can't understand any of this anyway. My mom just called me downstairs, my dad is coming home. This is great. Does sarcasm transfer over well on here? I hate my dad. He gives us anything that we want. Me and My mother, but he's always away on "business." I say it like that because he never calls in between to check on us or anything and my mom has the courage to stand up to him and call him his phone just rings till the voice mail picks up. When he realizes that she called he gets really mad. So mad that he breaks his phone and has to buy a new one. Then he gets really drunk right before he comes home and he hurts us. My mom usually ends up with a black or two. Once when I was five, he hit me so hard in the gut I coughed up blood and had to be taken to the hospital. I can't blame him 100% though because he has a problem where he can't control his anger, and drinking just makes it worse. It supposedly runs in the family but I am nothing like him. Oh I have to go, Dad's home. I guess I'll write later tonight if everything goes well.

-Rick

Just as her eyes made their way across the words "Rick" a buzzing went off in her pocket. It scared her. She jabbed her pocket quickly, taking it out and sliding it open. It was a text from her boyfriend Declan.

"HJ, meet me at the dot in twenty minutes, you're not home or I would have picked you up from there. – Declan" This better be good, she thought to herself because these entries are just getting way too good, she must learn more about him.


	3. Chapter 3: Pretty baby

Chapter 3

Twenty minutes later she walked through the door of The Dot. She looked around, and saw Declan looking so good sitting in the corner of the room, in a booth holding flowers and looking down at his phone.

"Ahem." Holly J coughed and smiled looking at Declan. "Who are those flowers for?" She sat down across from him and waited for him to respond to her.

"The prettiest girl I know, the girl I am love with." He pushed the flowers towards her and grabbed her hand. "I have to leave tonight. My mom has a party and she wants me and Fiona to be there. I want you to come with us." He looked in to her eyes silently pleading her to say yes.

"Declan, I would love to but I-" She stumbled on a good excuse, this is not what she thought was going to happen. "I have homework to do and I have to get read to be senior class president, very pressing matters, I hope you understand." She gave him a half smile. She really didn't have homework, she was Holly freaking J, she got it done and over with it before most people could muster out a complaint.

"Oh, well. Don't miss me too much? I'll video chat with you and text you all the time." He sighed, and looked at his watch. He stood up. "I have to go." He waited for her to stand up and then he hugged her and kissed her lips softly.

"We won't have time to miss each other. It's like your moving there or anything; I'll see you in a couple of days." She hugged him again and walked away slowly.

"I can give you a ride, why would you walk?" He looked at her puzzled.

"I don't want to go home right away. I just want to think about things." She smiled at him and walked out of the doors. She kept walking and she didn't look back. She heard the door to his limo shut and she sighed. Why was he making it a big deal about if we talked so much? He's going to a party. Whoo Hoo?

HOLLY J WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO YOUR SELF, GO HOME AND READ THAT JOURNAL! She shook her head, I'm going crazy. This is so weird. She made her way back to her house. Well her house, until the end of the month when she had to move into the apartment, APARTMENT. What is that?

"Hello honey, where have you been? Declan came over looking for you." Her mom called from the kitchen. "He looked very confused." Her mom clanked a spoon against a pot.

"I was just doing stuff, and yeah he wanted something. He's going to Manhattan tonight for the weekend." Holly J shrugged her shoulders and headed up stairs. Making her way to the room she closed the door as she got inside.


	4. Chapter 4: Don't Let Me Get Me

Holly J was way too excited to read a journal but she just couldn't stop thinking about it. Sure it was weird, Rick was dead, and he wasn't exactly loved around here, but she needed to know about him. Her sister Heather had mentioned him once or twice, she was such a gossip queen and Holly J was glad she moved away to be with her boyfriend. She left the school to her, and Holly J was the queen bee, feared and looked up to. She kicked her shoes off and crawled into her bed the lamp on her side desk and opened the book.

"Dear Journal,

I made it through with just a black eye, I'm kind of happy. I know I shouldn't be but it could be much worse if said something wrong, but I didn't so I am happy. Please don't judge me; this is a very good moment for me. I barely cried. One tear this time so maybe that's why I got off so good. My mom is in her room, my dad is yelling. Apparently we are moving to Toronto Canada, my dad got a raise. My mom is yelling because she doesn't want to move, she's yelling about how we finally got me help. I'm only writing in here for her. She needs me to try and help her, and that's what I'm going to do. I have to stay strong for her. I hope that she will stop defending me; it'll only hurt her worse. I love her. She helps me too much. She doesn't deserve to hurt. Richard he calls me. Richard, I hate that name. It's his name. My mom calls me Rick everyone calls me Rick. I don't have very many friends but I try to make friends. I don't want to move but I'm not going to fight it. Maybe this will be good. Maybe I'll make friends and be able to hang out with friends, and maybe my dad will get happier. Please god let this be good, I just want things to be okay with my life again, I can barely fall asleep at night. I just want to be able to look forward to waking up. Please don't let me turn out like him. I have to go, I hear him coming to my room. He doesn't sound happy. I'm worried.

-Rick."

Holly J was in shock over what she had just read. He was abused… the words played in her head. Poor Rick. A black eye, from his own father. She couldn't imagine living her life like that. She knew how his life had ended, but it was horrible. People needed to know the real Rick, but not before she finished finding out more things about him. What made him decide to bring a gun to school, and why Jimmy? Why Emma Nelson? Why Toby and Sean? She kept reading she needed closure, she knew she wasn't going to find any but she was blowing off her boyfriend because she was too engrossed in someone else's life. It was worth it though because it wasn't gossip. It was important. It wasn't school and it wasn't ACT work but it was important, it was. She was trying to convince herself it was important as she turned the page.

"Dear journal,

I'm sorry I couldn't write back last night. I got in trouble for going to the therapist. Like that is my fault. We're moving tomorrow. I packed all of my things up. All of the things that mattered, that is. Everything else can be trashed for all I care. It's not my fault I went to the therapist. I liked her, sure it was one day but she acted like she cared unlike everyone else in my life. I'll never be able to go back. So I hope that she was wrong, that it doesn't run in the family. Either way, I'll be starting Degrassi tomorrow, and I don't really want to. It's scary but I'll just stay low and I won't talk to anyone. Things are better that way. Keeping things built up in side of me is how I take care of the pain. Speaking of which, last night, when he found about the therapist, he hurt me. I don't really want to talk about it, but the Dr. said I should. So here it goes… I went down stairs and he was waiting on the couch, that's how you know something bad was going to happen. My mother was in the corner blood dripping through her fingers as she covered her face. My body got cold. I hate him. I made my way towards the couch and stood in front of him. I didn't say anything to him though, because why would I even want to look at that man, he hurt my mom. I was resisting the urge to run over to my mom, and grab and leave. There's no way that I would have been able to stop him and get us out safe. So I just clenched my fists and I waited. I waited for the pain I knew was coming. He's smart you know, he hits you in places you can hide easily. Never on my face, because I have to go to school, the ribs, legs, arms, just not the face. I flinched when he stood up. It was all downhill from there. He came at me fast. I couldn't even register that he hit me until I was against the wall… I heard something crack and the impact made my eyes go black. I couldn't see, but I could feel it. He kicked me with his steel toe boots, multiple times. I felt blood dripping but I don't know where it was coming from. He didn't stop and I am not even sure I knew when I went to bed. I can barely move but it will be easy to lay low when you can't even move. Long sleeves. Good thing Canada is cold.

-Rick"


End file.
